Parenting A Teenager - What Is So Different?
If you are parenting your very first teenager, you may still be trying to figure out why there is so much fuss.
Why should your parenthood change just because your child has entered another decade of her life?
If you stop to consider it, there are some fundamental differences in your teenage child when you compare them to a five year old, or a ten year old.
Let?s consider just a few of the differences:
Outside Influences As your child gets older, she is exposed to more things and more people.
Her life includes teachers, coaches, supervisors in her new part time working world, and the influence of culture and the media.
She is avidly interested in life around her and in what SHE wants out of her life as she gets older and she is ready to test her wings.
To gain peer approval, she will try things she might not otherwise attempt. To get the attention of someone she wants to date, she may even engage in sexual activity she wouldn?t otherwise consider.
She watches music idols and actresses on TV and in the movies to figure out how to act, how to dress and how to speak.
At no other time in her life will she be as vulnerable to suggestion or pressure as during these critical teenage years when she is developing her own opinions, ideas and sense of the world.
Hormones
During your child?s teen years, there are some obvious physical changes and some not-so-obvious physical changes.
His body will grow by leaps and bounds and he will begin to develop muscle, grow hair on his face and start to look more like a man than a boy.
But, make no mistake, emotionally, he is still a boy.
Rather like a five year old trying to drive his father?s riding mower, your son is trying to steer his new body with little knowledge of experience as to how to control it.
Not only are his hormones causing new and unfamiliar sexual feelings, they are also causing emotional reactions for which he may be unprepared.
Spurts of anger and emotional outbursts may become common.
He may find it hard to express his feelings and he may be in awe of, or even a bit afraid of, the physical attraction and sexual tension he feels for everyone from classmates to teachers and others on whom he may have a ?crush?.
He may find these feelings embarrassing or downright scary.
The Need for, and Emergence of, Independence
Of all the things that make your teenager a different species than the young child you used to know, this is the one that really seals the deal.
The natural development of your child?s brain, social skills and emotional maturity brings with it the emergence of independent thought and activity.
If your child isn?t already old enough to drive and have a part time job, she soon will be. She?ll be dating and out in the world, experiencing things without you.
She will begin to withhold information, because she isn?t sure you?ll approve of her thoughts or actions and because she CAN now withhold it.
She is no longer a child, and she isn?t dependent on you for her physical needs.
Though she is still financially dependent, she doesn?t count that for much right now. She is the center of her universe!
Teenagers are well known to be self-centered and that is just part of their development.
It doesn?t mean you should tolerate disrespect or that you should stop encouraging them to think of the feelings of others.
It simply means that you have to learn not to take every infraction as a personal affront.
Your teenager doesn?t mean to hurt you. She is simply exercising her newfound freedom and sometimes she will cross the line.
All of that extra time spent away from home will expose her to new people and places and she will build confidence in her own ability to thrive in the world without you by her side every second.
Remember, she NEEDS this confidence to go off into the world by herself to college or to work.
Don?t try to shelter her!
Just provide steady guidance and ground rules. But understand that she still loves you.
She is just going through the next, natural stage of her development.
She working toward becoming an independent adult and while you may try to stifle that independence, you are merely putting off the inevitable.
Children are SUPPOSED to grow up and go off on their own.
That is the natural cycle!
They are not supposed to remain emotionally or financially dependent on their parents for the rest of their lives!
The best thing you can do for your child is to raise her to be confident, independent and at home in the world around her.
Janet Hart is the owner of http://www.freefamilyhelp.com A free family resource site offering free tips, books, and more. Sign up today for a free newsletter to receive even more parenting tips! http://www.freefamilyhelp.com
WNQA Articles:
A Revolution Has Come To Online Dating
There is truly a revolution going on in the online dating services industry. And it is one that is far overdue.
Tips for Making Successful New Year's Weight Loss Resolutions - Free Teleconference
The Fitness Rocks Podcast (www.fitnessrocks.org), created and produced by Monte Ladner, M.D. (Dr. Monte), will be hosting a free teleconference: Tips for Making Successful New Year's Weight Loss Resolutions.
Dating Tool: Confidence 101
I'm over it. "There's plenty of fish in the sea," they say.
Weight Loss Challenge: Healthy Program
People who want to lose weight commonly, and first of all, think about reducing the amount of food they eat. This may be quite a solution but not exactly the best there is. In fact, depending on the amount you reduce in your food intake, it may even be dangerous to one's health. Now there is also scientific research showing that rapid weight loss does not imply an individual is losing unwanted excess fat; it is commonly water that is lost with following rapid weight loss practices. This could cause certain alarm but actually, water lost is regained very quickly. So there is actually zero net weight lost after all. So one should not be foolish enough to be so gullible with the advertising of certain diet pills out there in the market; especi...
Play Better Golf Through Exercise
Play better golf. Isn't that what every golfer thinks about 24/7? Golf can be the most humbling game you will ever play.
Online dating and offlline first dates
First date for women can be very, very intimidating! What if he is not what I am looking for?What if he looks different then on the picture from online dating service? What if he is just playing games, and just trying to get it on with me? Even though, we met online through the online dating service, and had a really nice conversation via e-mail, and IM; still meeting someone for the first time is nerve-racking! All these are legitimate concerns, we women have before we actually meet someone outside, offline? First, you need to psychology prepare yourself in to this first encounter with the person you?ve met online; to feel very comfortable, no matter what happens on the date. Your mental and emotional state is very important; it will lead...
Do Low Carbohydrate Diets Lead to Weight Loss Success?
So your neighbor, office mate, best friend, whoever just lost 10 pounds in only two weeks following the latest in high protein low carbohydrate diets. And now you're thinking you should give it a go -- have even started the search for high protein low carbohydrate recipes?True, high protein low carb diets seem to be leading many people to weight loss success.
Share the Gift of Positive Parenting on Father's Day: Easy-to-Use Activities Help Dads Support Their Child's Development
Research tells us that involved fathers contribute positively to their child's healthy wellbeing. Invest in Kids, a Canadian charitable organization, invites fathers and all parents to celebrate this Father's Day by sharing some Comfort, Play & Teach™ activities with their youngsters, aged 0-5. The three most essential types of interaction every child needs -- comfort, play and teach -- support a child's healthy development and help parents adopt a positive approach to parenting.
Beverly Malone Takes Reins of the NLN - Membership Organization Welcomes New Leader Who Pledges to Exercise Its Power to Make a Difference
Dr. Beverly Malone began her tenure as chief executive officer of the National League for Nursing today with a promise to make its voice heard around the world during this pivotal time for nursing and health care. "As a membership organization that champions excellence in nursing and represents nurse educators in all kinds of nursing programs," declared Dr. Malone, "the National League for Nursing is uniquely positioned to exercise our ability to make a difference."
Current Recommendations are 30-60 Minutes of Exercise, Everyday?
This is the latest advice to the public and many are surprised at the sheer quantity and confused as to what constitutes exercise.Finding the timeFor those of us with busy lives, fitting this into a day is not easy.
Sorting Out The Huge Mix Of Parenting Tips
When it comes to parenting, there are lots of tips at every turn. With so many there are huge areas of diverse paradox to confuse you. This article tries yet another jump at possibly the same. What do you do?
The Truth About Exercise and Why Its Not Always Good for You!
Exercise is often regarded as a panacea for many things..
Teen Pregnancy? Not Financial End
Nothing matches the joy of motherhood. The birthing of a new life into the world is a wonderfully joyous occasion. That being said, lets get to the heart of the matter. With a new baby come new bills and new expenses. Medical bills, formula, baby clothes, diapers, cribs, blankets, strollers, car seats, day care, school supplies, toys etc. and that is just the beginning. Unless your baby is born at home and you are somehow blessed enough to have a special nanny with money , extra expenditures are in your future. Many women are single mothers, some are unemployed and some are just not making enough money to bear the expense of motherhood. So many expenditures accompany the birth of a child that many mothers are required to leave...