Parenting Teenagers - Communicating With Your Teenager
Communication is the single most important aspect when parenting a teenager.
We can give them a sense of compassion, understanding, and support. We can listen to their opinion. We can peacefully discuss a situation.
On the other hand, we can convey to them that we are disappointed and angry about what they did. We can scold them for not doing what we told them to.
The way we respond to, or address, our teenagers will determine if they will come to us for answers and advice the next time.
Your teenager will let you know when he is disappointed. He might even be insulted by the way the discussion is going or how he's being treated.
He will tell you. Not directly, but with phrases such as:
?Whatever you say? or ?You just don?t understand? before walking away.
What these phrases really imply:
? He thinks he has absolutely no input in matters that concern his daily activities.
? He feels you are treating him like a child by not giving him a chance to state any of his thoughts on the subject at hand.
? You are just not listening to him at all.
Take a quick inventory of what was said and ask yourself where you cut your teenager off or out ? or stopped listening to his side of the story. Comments like these are a big STOP sign.
If you cannot recall with what exactly you turned your teenager off, ask him.
Here is an example:
One day your teenager comes home from school and tells you that one of his friends started to smoke.
You can either tell your son that he better not be smoking, and that if you ever catch him you will punish him one way or another.
Your teenager?s response in this case is going to be something like:?Sure, dad,? and he will turn and walk away.
Now you wonder if he is planning to take up smoking and worry about it. Your teenager is frustrated because you treated him like a child by lecturing instead of listening.
These events will lead to a stressed relationship, constant confrontation, and total frustration for you as well as your teenager.
On the other hand, you could find out what he is thinking and how he sees the situation.
If your teenager approaches you with a story or lets you know about something a friend is doing, you can be assured that they have an opinion about the particular situation.
Seize the opportunity to find out your teenager?s values, thoughts, and opinions. Give your teen the message that you are interested in his opinion and want to hear it.
He will be less hesitant to approach you the next time around, eager to talk about whatever is on his mind, discuss it with you and thus draw on your knowledge.
Before getting angry, consider that your teen may have come to you about the ?friend smoking? situation -
?to talk about how disappointed he is in his friend ?how angry he is with his friend because he knows that smoking is unhealthy ?Your teen may want, or more importantly may need you to tell him how proud you are of his choice not to smoke.
Christina Botto has been involved with helping parents and teenagers resolve complicated issues for more than 14 years, observing and developing parenting strategies. Her dedication to helping parents inspired her to write her book, ?Help Me With My Teenager! A Step-by-step Guide for Parents that Works.? http://www.helpwithteenagers.com/parentinghandbook.html
Christina continues to help parents and their teens through her website http://www.helpwithteenagers.com
Articles are free to be reprinted as long as the author?s bio and live link to her Web site remain intact.
Christina Botto has been involved with helping parents and teenagers for more than 14 years, observing and developing parenting strategies. Christina continues to help parents and their teens on her web site http://www.helpwithteenagers.com
WNQA Articles:
Effective and Easy Weight Loss Tips Just For You
There are many books that contain ways on how to lose weight easy Following the contents of the books and other manuals about losing weight may not always give you the ideal body weight of the person
Relax Your Way To Weight Loss and Good Health
I want to talk about the effect that stress and sleep deprivation may have on your weight. I spent the last six years of my life in Los Angeles partaking in the “Rat Raceâ€쳌.
Early Pregnancy Symptoms Revealed
There are specific early pregnancy symptoms that in most cases cannot pass unnoticed. And by saying this I refer to morning sickness, smell sensitivity, headaches, pelvic discomfort, extreme and extended tiredness, sore breasts, and the list would go on. I didn?t include the absence of period as an early pregnancy symptom, as that is usually the way to find out whether you?re pregnant or not. Now let?s take these above mentioned early pregnancy symptoms one by one and see how they can be dealt with.
Parenting College Students - The Advantages Of Summer School
Parenting changes during the college years
Match Dating Site
Match Match Dating Site
Lap-Band ? The Adjustable Gastric Banding Surgery For Weight Loss
The Lap-Band? procedure is a form of weight loss surgery that is is becoming more popular because of its lower costs and quicker recovery times. The operation is also perceived as being less invasive than the more commonly used Roux-en-Y gastric bypass procedure.
Weight Loss Woes
Weight loss is an issue that affects men and women alike. Children, particularly young girls, are also starting to think about weight loss at younger and younger ages.
Tips for dating just for the pleasure of it
Dating need not be an occasion where nerves are frayed and the palms are all sweaty. With the right attitude and the right atmosphere, dating can be pleasurable, enjoyable and fun.
Feeling Sexy During Pregnancy
Some people think that the word sexy and pregnancy do not belong together. I have to disagree.
Weight Loss Tips for the Holidays
Many of us know that losing weight can be hard Unfortunately losing weight can be even more difficult around the holiday time
How To Use Weight Loss Calculators
Anyone who reads information about losing weight is certain to hear a lot of talk about calories. Cutting calories, burning calories, substituting calories ? all of these and more are frequent topics of discussion for dieters. But how many calories are you currently consuming? What effect will cutting back on calories have on your weight? How much can you eat and still squeeze into a smaller clothing size for your high school reunion in a couple of months? All of these questions and more can be answered using weight loss calculators.
Parenting Teenagers - Teenagers, Computers And Internet
Lately parenting forums have been buzzing with parents looking for ideas how to keep their teenagers from spending a lot of time on the computer and Internet. It seems that teenagers these days are hooked on the computer just as they were hooked on watching television just a decade ago. Whether they are logging into MySpace, downloading songs from iTunes, blogging, chatting with each other over IM, or spacing out surfing the Web, mounting evidence shows that teen computer use can in some cases be classified as either a compulsion or even an addiction.
Long-Term Weight Loss Requires More than Diet
Studies are proving that dieting is often only a temporary stop on the path to weight loss. Most recently, studies have shown that after losing weight, people often relapse into old habits, including poor diet and little or no exercise.