MORAL ARMORS Irrational Parenting, Part IV

Imposing Their Future.

In contradiction to parents who try to force children down a certain path, individual purpose must be a product of cognition, if it is to sustain the spiritual health of the entity to choose it. Even if the choice is wrong, the individual learns the process of selecting self-generated interests, which has countless daily and lifelong applications. It shows him how to value. When a rational man is wrong, his thought process retains the format for discovering the correct answer. Wired to never being wrong, it is the Fear-driven's skewed, incomplete perception which has buried the format for this discovery, and destruction becomes the product of their cognition.

No two human beings will agree on the course each other's lives should take in regard to private interests, nor need they agree. In tolerating another's opinion on this subject, we end up with the sense that they entered our inner sanctuary and never wiped their feet, or that our sanctuary is where they chose to wipe them. The feeling is inevitable in any field of specialization when we attempt to make consultation a cognitive element, or when it is forced on us. There is no sincerity in violating cognition to make this choice for another, be they friends, children or spouse.

Individual purpose is a key variable in the equation of life—different for everyone. It cannot be chosen by another. Only we know our location on an epistemological map. No matter what others think is good for us, they are in a different place, and no override of our consciousness can bring us to their location. Our central purpose and life structure must be our own unforced conclusion.

False Encouragement.

Often people believe a child's esteem must be reinforced—one reason why kids prefer to watch dad do something productive versus suffering as the fishbowl between fawning Aunts. Children must learn that a joyful state is a natural reward, and that it does not stop with adolescence, but is theirs to earn and deserve for all time. What they often learn instead, is that enjoyment is causeless and that their elders are phonies. Children don't want to remain children; they want to be adults. It is the purposeful action of adults that piques their curiosity—a mystery outside their present range. The true intention of Spirit Murdering adults can be confirmed in that future success is considered a betrayal, as their shallow malice follows this mindless demeanor.

I've been badgered all my life by the second-guessing of the Fear-driven, which such losers consider "encouragement." What was their contribution? They blurt out, "What happens if you fail?" I'll try again. Or, "You know, not everything works out as you'd like." Which is why I stay limber in my approach. Or "If you fail, we will still love you." But if I succeed? Don't worry, securing your charity is no concern of mine. This is what they call wisdom. Their theme in life and their God, is failure. That last statement is most alarming. What spurs contemplation of withdrawing their love in the first place? The answer is the threat of accomplishment. No book on success talks like that. "Why don't you scale back?" Why should I? "Why don't you quit while you're ahead?" Because I'm not a coward. "Now is not the time to be taking chances." When is? Why don't you consider what a risk you're taking?" My risk is calculated. Why do you want it so bad?" Because I'm still alive. "How can you be thinking of this when the world is falling apart?" Because it isn't. "It's too soon!", "It's too late!", "You're too old!", "You're too young!" Nonsense, but so what? "No one has ever done it before!" Why do you think I'm doing it? "Pioneers are the ones with all the arrows in their backs." So stop shooting them. To interpose the idea of failure at such a critical point of dreams is so monstrously destructive, I almost can't fathom the motive, for the same reason I don't go around tipping garbage can lids. They are fools—all of them, prepared only to break you down and salt your wounds, which is all that popular morality has taught them to do. If you make it, you'll hear the snide remarks from the same people, "When is enough, enough?" When I'm dead. "Why can't you leave good enough alone?" Because it can be better. "Have you thought of what others need?" No. "You don't care about anyone but yourself, do you?" I'm considerate to those who are considerate of me. "You think you're so good, don't you?" I have nothing but life-furthering attributes; why shouldn't I? If you ask what they would change about you, it always amounts to removing the same key virtues: strength, clarity and discipline. Permit their counsel and they'd say, "That's not the way to run a human being!" Then they'd knock a few holes in you to release all the energy—to waste it, saying "Loosen up! Slouch! Get comfortable! Talk about meaningless nonsense! Now you're one of us! Now we approve! Sit around with us and we'll teach you all about The Welfare!"

A Self-made Man's ambition for knowledge, his pioneering spirit and his desire to live well is limitless and he will continue to expand it, never giving credence to the idea that enough is enough, as so many lethargic souls attempt to convince him of. They hem and haw about impossibilities and back projects only after they are a proven success, still looking with the stupefied awe of witnessing a miracle, no step closer and no more willing to adhere to a disciplined rationale. As the living product of their own advice, they chase their tails so much it's surprising they're not in better shape. Far be it for them to ask the successful how to be successful, but when their approach contradicts a means you know to be more efficient, you can expect to hear, "Can't you be supportive? I'm trying." I've seen trying. Trying looks more like a salad. At a certain level, you can relax and have fun with the banter. They have no chance of luring us into passivity any longer, so why not?

In our final installment, we'll discuss the most frightening topic for irrational parents: setting a bad example.

Copyright 2005 Ronald E Springer

Ronald E. Springer is the Author/Philosopher of Moral Armor, the world's first fully-integrated moral philosophy based on the nature of Man. Featured on The Mitch Albom Show, NBC and FOX News radio affiliates, Mr. Springer is currently developing a morally-consonant life system for our youth. Please contact RonaldESpringer@MoralArmor.com or visit http://www.MoralArmor.com for details.