MORAL ARMORS Irrational Parenting, Part III

Not Letting Them Think.

We all implicitly know that anything questioning the process of cognition itself will be met with massive irritation, making us want to respond with "Don't question my capacity to think." Their moronic reasoning to show how logic is derived, provokes the thought, "Don't try to tell me how to think." Forcing their opinions down your throat earns the response, "Don't tell me what to think." Some parents show no respect for personal boundaries long after childhood, straightening your clothes, your hair, invading your privacy—incessantly buzzing around you like a mosquito. This belittlement implies incompetent dependency—a fundamental insult to Man or animal—any way you slice it. These actions tick everyone off, at any stage in life.

Their children are a test bed for ill technology—the grand experiment—saying "In this child, the great dream will be made real," and they hold them to their own irrational standard of how they wish life to be. They experiment with violence, as if forcing kids to practice the senseless can make it succeed, and then take aggression out on them when it fails. They trounce on their children's right to life by their gift of life. They punish them for having preferences. They force them into unchosen activities, pushing them into unnecessary competition in areas they care or don't care for, straining kid's friendships and taking the joy out of everything. Eventually their children accept patterns of repression, whose unchosen and unhappy situations follows them into adulthood.

Breaking life down into philosophic essentials, the motives that drive ideas and actions either go on one side—the side of life, or on the other—the side of death. Maybe five percent of parents I have known had a conscious understanding of intellectual essentials and could convey them effectively to children. Thinking is exactly what they don't know how to explain or train. Most wouldn't want to harm children if they knew better, but often they don't and at some point they made the choice not to know. That is their guilt. The crucial point is that their actions affect the child positively or negatively according to existential cause and effect, regardless of their claimed intentions. So what do they do? They try to live their lives for them. They buzz in their face like an insect and never leave them alone, saying "Why do you have to do it my way? Because, that's why. Do you want to be grounded? Don't question me." They offer no chain, make no attempt to teach one and penalize children for reasoning through what doesn't make sense to them. Riddled with cognitive errors and brimming with inexperience, they'll refuse to spank their child as a moral stand when pleasure and pain are the first rudimentary connections a child can make, and their children never learn to respect social boundaries. Instead they'll attempt to explain the ramifications of being good or bad when it's still well outside their cognitive range. Some hit unjustly, choosing violence as the constant solution instead of responsibly engaging a child ready for more complex understandings. A smothering parent will choose their children's diet, their interests, their friends, their schedule, their career, their mate, you name it, claiming to care. They will be hated, and as the children grow, both will make each other miserable. When the kids leave, don't expect to see them for a long, long time.

There is no justification for our every action being checked by another. Alone, we can relax. We can try new things, test and entertain conclusions with no need for immediate validation. There are no disagreements to have and no justifications to clear with ourselves, only dysfunctions to identify and inefficiencies to overcome. Few things are more valuable than a safely executed mistake. There are questions in life that need not be answered on the spot. Experience with the cognitive process itself will provide the completed picture; kids must only remain free to exercise it. Parental interference is a confession that they don't understand the cognitive process themselves, and don't trust their children to use it either. It is inappropriate to attempt to raise another consciousness until you have mastered your own.

Copyright 2005 Ronald E Springer

Ronald E. Springer is the Author/Philosopher of Moral Armor, the world's first fully-integrated moral philosophy based on the nature of Man. Featured on The Mitch Albom Show, NBC and FOX News radio affiliates, Mr. Springer is available for interviews, speaking engagements, philosophy workshops and seminars. Please contact RonaldESpringer@MoralArmor.com or visit http://www.MoralArmor.com for details.