Parenting Failure? It May Not Be All It Seems!
I'll never forget my first lesson in a glider.
I'd been interested in gliding, or soaring as it's known in the USA, for some time - and now the big day had arrived.
As I approached the airfield the words of some 'friends' came back to haunt me. 'Going up in a sailplane without an engine? You must be mad! How these things stay up there in empty space is beyond me!'
After a lesson or two on the principles of flight, it was time to take to the air. And I needn't have worried about 'empty space' . . .
If ever there was a case of things not being as they seemed, this was it.
Empty space? You must be joking!
Five minutes in a glider (or sailplane) teaches you that it's anything but 'empty space' up there.
I was amazed at the buffeting and whipping of the air currents and the sheer power of the thermals as they pushed the plane upward, like a giant hand from below.
The question soon changed from 'How are we going to stay up?' to 'How on earth are we going to get down?'
But it's all about manipulation of the control surfaces on the plane, and soon we glided to a smooth and safe landing.
Often in life, perhaps even more so in parenting, things are not as they seem.
Here's a common scenario. A parent has been reading up on positive thinking, self-development, parenting skills or such like.
They feel good and are dutifully putting everything into practice.
Then out of the blue - WHUMP! There's a major confrontation with one of our teens that leaves us drained, bedraggled and crawling off in search of a corner where we can lick our emotional wounds.
The steely glint of failure mocks our efforts.
But wait! All is not as it seems . . .
In recent years we've come to realise that every situation has potential for good AND bad. Some call it the Law Of Opposites.
Let's illustrate it with another example. Say you make a sacrifice and give money to the poor.
That's good. It helps them get on their feet, and generosity is good for your personal development.
So what could possibly be 'bad' in that situation?
It's POSSIBLE that giving so 'generously' could make you feel smug and 'superior'. It could lead to a 'Holier than thou!' attitude. And the receiver could eventually become dependent on hand-outs from others.
Not good!
So let's get back to that volcanic blow-up with our teens!
No possibility for good there? Think again.
Lick the wounds by all means, but rest assured that every situation has a lesson for us.
All we have to do is open ourselves to the possibility.
So when we retreat, let's ask ourselves some questions and be brutally honest in our appraisal:
* In that situation did I keep my cool?
* Was I positive in my attitude?
* What kind of language did I use?
* Did I come over as patronizing, sarcastic, impatient,
intolerant, 'superior', huffy?
* Or was I supportive, patient, tolerant, mature, assertive,
helpful, confident?
* Was my approach reasonable or in some way self-serving?
In short, was I modelling the type of behaviour I would want them to adopt?
If the answer is yes, then you can feel strong and confident, knowing that any sanctions you apply are just and reasonable.
If the answer is no, what can you learn from this?
Use this opportunity to strengthen and develop yourself, and prepare to handle it better next time.
In your path toward parenting progress, then, all may not be as it seems.
Apparent failures - especially when we thought we were making it! - can be opportunities to take our progress to the next level.
Remember the people who couldn't understand how a glider stayed in the air without an engine? Just because they couldn't SEE the ridges of air pressure or the thermals which push the plane upward, doesn't mean they weren't there.
In the same way, situations that may APPEAR to bring us down can in fact be the very 'thermals' (which are hot air!) to push us upward to the next level - if we let them.
Happy parenting!
Why do some parents and children succeed, while others fail? Frank McGinty is an internationally published author and teacher. If you want to further develop your parenting confidence and encourage your kids to be all they can be, visit his web pages: http://www.frank-mcginty.com/peace-formula.html AND http://www.frank-mcginty.com/for-parents.html
WNQA Articles:
10 Tips for Succeding in Dating!
Generally the most important step when dating someone is the anticipation moment which refers to your own decisions and also the prepairing for dating someone. And as the most important aspects are also the most difficult ones, people generally leave them aside or neglect them and this always proves to be harmful for a relationship.
Tips for Quick Weight Loss
Your weightloss goal must be long term in order to have lasting success. Think about this, if you only lost a pound a week that would be 52 pounds a year and that is a lot of weight loss. This may be a surprise to you, but there are certain mental factors at work in successful weight loss. One needs to have a clear goal in mind to be successful in weight loss endeavors. One needs to have clearly defined goals for achieveing the desired weightloss. You can enhance your weight loss program by learning successful ways to take control of your life as well as your thoughts and feelings. You didn't end up with extra weight overnight, and you cannot possibly experience significant or long lasting weight loss overnight either.
Dating, Romance, Love and Marriage: How to be Happy in the Process
Do you, like anybody else, wish to find contentment and happiness in the process of dating, romance, love, and marriage? Sure enough, you share the same visions with other people. Who would not want a healthy intimate relationship with another? Who would not want to be free from the harshness of the reality bite that dating, romance, love, and marriage could at any time turn into a nightmare? For sure, you include yourself in this category.
An Exercise To Open Your Mind To Your Possibilities
Everything exists twice. First, in your mind.
Hair And Skin Beauty Tips
Some people that use make up have no idea that their lipstick and eye shadow does not match their skin tone. Because of this ther look can look dull or not very natural. Many women will spend time looking for beauty tips, but only a few women know that the most important tip to master is working out skin tones.
White label dating clients suffer the premium rate catastrophe
EasyDate is offering an alternative white label dating service to ensure clients can generate revenue without entering the premium rate arena.
Top 10 Diet Tips You Should Read Before The Start Of Your Weight Loss Journey
Losing weight is not easy if you have already tried everything you?ve ever heard about how to lose weight, but with no success, or if you haven?t started your weight loss journey, yet. In either case you need some preliminary preparation that includes basic weight loss knowledge, strong will and desire to lose weight, as well as a little help and support from your friends and family, and some free time. So far everything is for free, but if you want results fast, then you might consider investing some money in your health, as well.
Finding a Safe Dating Site
Seems like everywhere we surf on the Internet nowadays we run across this little advertisement: 'Free online personals'. They are everywhere, they are dating sites, and more are opening up shop every day.
Health And Exercise, Free Weights Versus Machine Exercises
Something you need to keep in mind and never forget is that when you exercise, you are training for life. You still may spend an hour a day in the gym, although that will still leave another 23 hours or so for your muscles to function without using any fancy equipment.
Pre- Ankle Stabilization Exercise For The Rocker, Balance, And Wobble Board
Balance and stability are important for any person that wants to maintain good health as well as prevent future injury. There are a number of exercises available that can ensure that you will achieve better balance and spinal stability, using rocker boards, wobble boards, balance boards, or vestibular discs. We will go over some of these exercises, but before you perform any of them, you should do this Pre- Ankle stabilization exercise for the rocker board, balance board, and wobble board. This simple exercise serves two purposes: the more specific purpose is to help rehabilitate injured ankes. Rehabilitating an ankle can be sped up quite a bit just by doing these exercises. The second, more broad, objective is to improve your balance and p...
Quick Weight Loss -A Fast Way to Lose Weight?
Fasting, or more accurately starving yourself to lose weight can produce very fast weight loss. The problem with this and so many other weight loss plans is that sooner or later you need to go back to managing your own food. Understand that any type of quick weight loss that takes you out of your normal patterns is usually not a long-term solution.
CPW Rehab Offers Chances to Win Free "BACKSCHOOL" Class or Month of Free Exercise Classes
During the Sylvania Business Expo on March 19th, CPW Rehab will hold two raffles. One raffle, for business owners, will offer a chance to win a free BACKSCHOOL class for the winner's business or organization. The other raffle will offer a chance to win one month of free exercise classes at the Toledo-area rehabilitation facility.
Lose Weight and Keep it Off Using Audio Weight Loss Support
You've heard it all before: