The Evolution of Dating at 40 and 50

I am sick of the dating scene at 40. The hassles of trying to meet someone is grating over my nerve cells. Why bother with the countless times of being alone, and wondering if he's going to call today? It's a headache on top of a headache. Let me tell you why.

I see men my age dating women that are only 22 years old. What chance do I have if men won't look at me? They think women over 40 are old, stuck in their ways their breast is sagging, not to mention their bodies don't have it going on any longer. Most of us are fat as sin. Why would men our age want to date us? They can have their pick of the youngsters out there. Some men my age and older have girlfriends that are 18 years old. I bet you men my age have girlfriends that are 16 and 17 years of age, but it's a well kept secret. This concept is frustrating as hell to women my age.

I thought I had a man in my life. He's 53 years old, and stuck in his ways, but he made me laugh as he came into my life two years ago. We dated for a while and it had its up and downs, and then we moved in together. It was fine for a couple of months, and then he grated on my nerves, and I got on his. I think when you move in with someone, you take each other for granted, and that's the honest truth and fact.

He comes home from work, walks into the living room, turns on the television, fixes himself something to eat, and that's his plans for the rest of the day. He usually ends up falling to sleep with the television blasting away and the kitchen a mess from his cooking.

What do I have to do? Turn off the television, and clean up the kitchen. I'm dying to go to the movies, or walk on the beach with the man I love, but it's not happening. I have to beg him to take me to the beach, and believe me he's getting something out of it. My man and I continued to fuss and fight so we ended up moving out. He moved out on Tuesday and I moved out on Wednesday. I knew it'd be the end of our relationship, but I had no choice in the matter. He was stressing me out.

After a week, he called, and we started talking again. I was happy because I loved this man, I just couldn't live with him. He'd call you on Thursday, and you wouldn't hear from him until two weeks later, and that was usually on my payday, of course. He didn't think anything was wrong in not calling his woman. I stopped talking to him at one point, and told him never to call me again. How could a man go two weeks without calling the woman he supposed to be in love with? Answer me this question. He doesn't think anything is wrong with it. What do I supposed to do for two weeks? What is my man doing that he's not spending any time with me? I just don't understand the way he thinks. I'm 43, and he's 53. Maybe there's a problem in our ages.

Now my man just calls me when he needs a loan. He knows the things I like to do, but does he once call me and insists that we go to the movies, or to the beach, or maybe out to dinner? No! He just wants to borrow some money because he's broke. What does that tell me about my man? HE'S JUST NOT INTO ME! I took this from a quote from Author Greg Black's book, which is his title, by the way.

I know this is hard to swallow when you realize that your man isn't into you. I loved him, but if he does not love me back then it's time to move on. I can't make anyone love me. I think the day we decided that living together wasn't an option for us; our relationship went down the drain.

Now I am 43 years old and miserable because I'm so romantic, but can't find my soul mate to be romantic with. I have to sit around and hear about my 22 year old daughter's love life. She's with a man in his forties, and he does everything for her. Anytime she needs money, he has it, she gets in trouble; he bails her out, and is her prince charming. This is definitely what a man supposed to do for a woman.

I also have to keep telling myself that I'm not 22 years old and gorgeous like my daughter. Men are in line to date her, and I can understand why this 40 year old man would want to be with her, instead of me. Am I jealous? Of course not, I'm just envious and lonely.

I still wish I had a sexy body at 40, and old and young men would be whistling at my door. So far, it hasn't happened, and it's the most miserable feeling in the world, and then some.

I ended the relationship with my man because as I said before, he just wasn't into me, and we both were wasting our time. He wanted to keep me around in case I could be a tool for his use; like loaning him money or something. I'm not here for you to use me, and I work to long and hard for my money. If you were in love with me, and being the man that you were taught to be, then you can have my entire paycheck, and then some.

But you're not the one, so find someone else to use. I'm not your fool.

So as I sit here, and weep as I write this article, I'm saddened to the brink of hysterics. I am 43 years old, lonely and old. There's no dating scene for me anymore. I'll truly be an old maid for the duration of my life. The tears hysterically fell, as I was blinded by them. What a waste of a loving, kind, and passionate woman? The dating scene sucks! I just have to continue to read my romance novels, and pretend that the heroine is me, and the hero is my prince charming, loving me like a man should love a woman.

The evolutions of men I've dated in my years have solely been a paradise of disappointments in the 21st century. Out of the men I've dated, and that's not a lot, I'd say two were my prince charming. One I blew away because of my insecurities and the other passed away. Now those were men, I'd gladly put on a platter for the entire world to see.

Anyway, I know women who are in love with married men; men who have five or six girlfriends, and men who are gay, but pretend to be straight, in the process of sneaking around on his woman lover to be with his man lover. What is wrong with this picture? This is the manipulation of a disease in the making, of course. The suffering women and men have to put up with because we want to date, and we don't treasure being lonely, old, and alone for the duration of our existence. Again, what is wrong with this picture?

Now there are women who are satisfied with their men, and men who are satisfied with their women. Some women don't care one bit if the man is abusing them left, and right, or cheating on them with their best friends, etc. As long as I have a man next to me, I don't really care. Again, what is wrong with this picture? In scientific studies, do you really have this man, if he's sleeping with other women and men? I don't think so, but let your mind baste on that fact, and hopefully you'll come up with the right solution.

As I'd say it again, the dating scene sucks, and I'm beginning to believe that most men in the Chicago area, sucks too!

www.jcarolannjohnson@aol.com www.freewebs.com/jcarolann

My name is Carol Ann Culbert. I'm 43 years old, and I live in Oak Lawn, IL a surburb of Chicago. I love writing, and my debut, book, I CONFESS, a collection of confession short stories can be purchased at http://www.publishamerica.com. My hobbies are reading and writing.